If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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