that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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