I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
