its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My bed smells like the plague
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
