I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think my moral compass just broke
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
