She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
