If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
