yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
