Screwed.edu
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
