there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
