A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
