All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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