Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
