Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Why is your signature on my underwear?
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My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
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The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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