the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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