I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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