i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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