worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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