I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
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I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
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There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
A+ Viking dick
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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