Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
