are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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