There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
