the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
