Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think your dad took our porno
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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