Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
