Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
