Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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