i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
