How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
then he tried to convert me to islam
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
