do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
