hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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