Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
