Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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