Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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