I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize