Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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