u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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