before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
