I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
