and she was petting her beer can
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
