I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize