there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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