ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize