I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
