I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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