Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You dont lie about slip and slides
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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