the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
