just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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