Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
