I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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