Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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