I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize