I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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