hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
