You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
