ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
