No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
