is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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