can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
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she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
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But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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