i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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