I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize