i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Ladies don't puke and tell
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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