Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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