I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize